This is the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) from where I gave birth.

On days I feel restless and impatient, I think about the week our family spent here.

I was dying to hold our daughter Tala every waking day, having been separated from her for the very first time in nine months. Is she getting my hard-earned breast milk while I’m away? Do nurses carry her when she cries? Can she handle the pain? Does she long for me too?

Together with other breastfeeding mothers, we’d bond in a small space behind the green curtain, nursing, changing diaper, contact napping, whispering “I love you,” “Dito lang si Nanay,” “Sorry you have to go through this,” “Can’t wait to go home with you,” “Kain/CR muna si Nanay,” and “Nanay and Tatay love you” until visiting hours end at 5:00 PM.

This experience still brings me to tears but it has been keeping me grounded too whenever motherhood challenges me.